The New Year Mindset

Yesterday I went over to my friend’s house for a NYE Superstition Dinner. We ate golden biscuits, collard greens, and black-eyed peas to ring in good luck for the New Year. During dinner, we talked about our resolutions and goals for 2019. She told me she chose a word of intention for the year. The word sets the theme for the year.

At first thought, my word was “survive”. It was kind of a joke. Sort of. It’s only been a couple days since the hubs left on deployment but the emptiness in the house without him here is real.

I thought for a moment, “Lily. You can do better than simply survive. You should aim to flourish!” Flourish. That’s a much better word than “survive”. But how can I flourish when my other half isn’t here? My co-parent, my partner, my soulmate. 9 months and a 9 hour time difference of trying to flourish apart.

Flourish: [V] to grow luxuriantly, to thrive, to prosper

This isn’t the first time I’ve had to flourish on my own. I remember when I moved to Washington state. I was only a few weeks into my first job out of college and just starting to feel settled in. I had my own cubicle and with the guidance of my supervisor/mentor felt that I had the swing of writing User Stories and flushing them out. It was OK if I had a question or wasn’t sure how to proceed because I could walk one desk over and get the help I needed.

Then, one Friday afternoon I saw him packing up early.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I’m going home. See you in two weeks.” He said.

Wait, hold on there! I thought to myself. How could I do this new job without him? What if I got stuck? Sure, he was an email or IM away but that felt forever away from the desk he was at. Those first few days after he left to work remotely were hard but soon I got into my own rhythm. I built up my confidence and learned what I needed to flourish in my role.

When my supervisor came back two weeks later, I caught him up on things. I found myself working with him instead of depending on him. These next 9 months will be a challenge. Thankfully, my husband is just a text away. Hopefully, I’ll be sending him messages of love and encouragement instead of tales of survival.

So, here we are. The first day of a new year. I decided to flourish. Because if it’s one thing I’ve learned in my time on Earth, living is a mindset. If you want something to happen you have to think it first.

Cheers to the New Year!


Did you set a New Years resolution or word of intention? Let me know in the comments below.


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